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Smart magpies

It’s 40 degrees Celsius outside and I’m trying to take a photo of the magpie outside the door.  So far, all I’ve done is scare it away.

So no photo for this blog.

We lived in the country when we were kids. We rode our bikes everywhere.  When we weren’t swimming in the creek, that was.

Spring added an extra hazard to any bike ride.  Swooping magpies, protecting their nests.  (I’m talking the Australian magpie here, which is a different species to the European magpie.)

If you’ve never been swooped by a magpie—it’s scary, and there’s nothing you can do about.  Well, there is, but some of the commonly accepted methods—like putting eyes on the back of your bike helmet, or on an upside-down ice-cream container worn on your head (sans ice-cream, of course)—don’t work.

Magpies are territorial, and we have magpies who live in our yard. They don’t swoop us.  (I hope I haven’t jinxed us by writing this blog.)  Their song is lovely in the morning.  They’re also great mimics.

Anyway the magpies quickly learned that evaporative cooling is as good for them as it is for us.  It doesn’t take them long to find the door we have open when we turn on the air conditioner. And that’s where they settle themselves, right in the breeze, for as long as we have the cooler on.

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Jurassic World (Park): High Heels Edition

An image from 'Jurassic Park: High Heels Edition (Parody)' by XVP Comedy. Watch the full video below
An image from ‘Jurassic Park: High Heels Edition (Parody)’ by XVP Comedy. Watch the full video below

As crazy as it sounds, I have really enjoyed the discussion about Claire’s (Bryce Dallas Howard’s) heels in Jurassic Park.

Google ‘running in heels Jurassic world‘ if you haven’t heard about it yet.

Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard), the operations manager of the Jurassic franchise’s latest dino-themed pleasure park. While fleeing Indominus rex, an especially terrible species of terrible lizard, Claire runs across floors of slick stone and grounds of moist mud. She sprints and leaps and crouches. She drives an ambulance. She shoots a gun. She saves some lives. She takes some others. She grows as a person, and as A Woman. And she does it all in ridiculously spiked heels that you really, really hope are decked out with a good pair of DreamWalk Comfort Insoles.

This, of course, is absurd. And it is so obviously absurd that Claire’s perma-pumps are the source of a running joke within Jurassic World, manifested both through dialogue—Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) at one point explicitly mocks Claire’s entire flee-unfriendly outfit, which results in her removing clothing, but not swapping shoes …

The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s Silliest Character

It a gag that keeps going and going, and still gets lots of comments on various websites.

I can even see that a character who spends most of her time in the office like Claire does is likely to wear heels most of the time. I would have expected, given she does apparently go out into the park occasionally, that she would have had pair of flats in her bottom drawer (like those of us do who only have to tackle city streets), but—

Apparently, it was Howard’s choice to wear the shoes all the way through.

It’s refreshing that this has become such a point of discussion. Once upon a time no-one commented on the impracticality of women running for their lives in heels that are more likely to cripple them than to save them.

So refreshing, in fact, they even made a parody of it. Of Jurassic Park, really, but it’s the same silly fun.

Jurassic Park: High Heels Edition (Parody) by XVP Comedy

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Reflecting on technology

In 2008 I bought a Hewlett Packard tablet PC. I used it five times before I gave up and went back to my desktop. It was too heavy to use as a slate, and almost too heavy to use as a laptop. Nowadays it’s just junk. I can’t even give it away.

Ever since I can remember, I was convinced tablet computers would replace desktop PCs and laptops. It seemed such a logical progression. They had touch screens, you could carry them around, what more could you ask? Yet even though tablet computers had been around since the late 1980s, by the time I put that HP into storage I was starting to wonder if they would ever take off.

We called it 'Clunker'. It was a heavy little thing.
We called it Clunker. It was a heavy little thing.

Then of course, Apple brought out the iPad.

The iPad was the tipping point for tablet computers. Now, tablets are everywhere.

What about the technology that doesn’t last?

Recently, over at John Scalzi’s blog, Whatever, we posted about the ideas—or images—that were the precursor to writing Linesman.

One of these was

… we read about an early Comdex or Macworld exhibition where the first Apple Mac was on show. An old man stopped to look at the Mac. He picked up the mouse and moved it in front of the screen to see what would happen

One of the commenters (thank you, Matt), said

… what the old man was likely thinking of was the light pen, which was an even older technology that worked exactly like what he was trying to do with the mouse.

So naturally, I looked up light pens. Which are exactly what they sound like. A pen that you point at the screen and the screen detected the change in light and sent that information back to the computer. Think of it like a modern-day touch-screen, only instead of measuring electrostatic fields it measured light.

The light pen never took off because you had to hold it up to the screen for long periods of time. Look what we have now. Tablets, with touch screens.

To become popular a technology has to be useable. I didn’t use my HP tablet. It was too heavy both as a table and as a laptop. Light pens didn’t work because you couldn’t physically hold your hand up for long periods of time. (The requirement for specialised software would have impacted too, but software can be written.)

Timing and marketing also has an impact. Can anyone remember Betamax vs VHS? Which doesn’t matter any more, because both technologies are now obsolete.

The iPad is light. It looks good and it’s easy to use.

You don’t always get what you want

Back in 2008, when I bought my HP tablet, I expected that by 2015 the tablet would be the only thing I would use. I wouldn’t have another computer.

For some people it is, only for them it’s a mini-tablet and it’s called a mobile phone.

For me? I seem to have regressed. My phone is a phone and a camera, and that’s all. The only time I connect it to the internet is to download images.

My iPad? It’s the best little eReader around. I play the occasional game on it, and I use it to listen to music. That’s all. As for software—I’ve stopped trying to find new apps. I don’t use them.

My laptop. I can put it in my bag, which is a big plus. I use it on the train to write, and when I am out. Again, that’s it.

The bulk of my work is still done on the desktop PC.

Which is not what I would have expected mid-2015.

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First world problems

As I write this I am waiting for delivery of our new washing machine. I haven’t looked forward to a delivery so much in a long time. (Except perhaps a certain box from Penguin Random House which is due soon too.)

We’ve a house full of dirty clothes and we’re both down to our last clean garments. If the washing machine wasn’t being delivered today, I know what we’d be doing tonight. Laundromat duty.

I have nothing against Laundromats, mind. The first ten years after I left home I washed my clothes at the local Laundromat. But once you get a washing machine in your home it’s hard to go back to packing your dirty laundry in a basket, collecting coins and soap powder—and a book to read—and making the trek down to the laundry.

It’s so convenient to come home at night, toss your clothes into the washer and have them in the dryer by the time you’re eating dinner.

We all know how indispensable a washing machine is. And a dryer.

Another modern convenience I never anticipated wanting was a dishwasher. I mean, who minds washing up? (We all do, I suppose, but it doesn’t take that long.)

This house had a dishwasher when we moved in. At first we only used it when we had a lot of dishes to wash, usually when we had visitors. After all, who wants to wash up when you’d rather be chatting to your guests? It didn’t take long before we were using it full time.

When the dishwasher finally broke down there wasn’t any question as to whether we would buy another one, just what sort. We bought a two-drawer that was more suited to the smaller loads. When that one gave up recently the only question was, “How soon can we get the replacement?”

Ah, first world problems.

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Some sideways thoughts about the Hugos and that Game of Thrones episode

There are many Game of Thrones episodes that could be referred to as that episode but the one I’m talking about today is season five’s ‘Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken’.

I haven’t read Game of Thrones. I haven’t seen the television series. Like many people I know about the series through osmosis, because you can’t get away from it. I enjoy the surrounding commentary, however. I don’t know what that says about me, because while I enjoy the commentary I have never been tempted to read the books or see the show.

If everyone loved the same stories it would be a boring world.

Thus I had not had much to do with George R. R. Martin until I read his blogs about this year’s Hugo awards and Puppygate*. I thought they were fantastic, and summed it up well.

So I’m using George R. R. Martin as an excuse to combine two disparate topics into one. The Hugos, and the episode that for a lot of viewers might be the turning point for whether they continue to watch Game of Thrones.

The Hugos

Best novel

Many people will vote for Cixin Liu’s Three Body Problem (translated by Ken Liu) because they loved the book. I suspect it will also pick up votes because many people see it as the only untarnished nominee. (Confession, I have never been able to read past the first bit, where the government kills the girl’s father. Like I say, different books appeal to different people.)

Jim Butcher may be an outside chance. A lot of Hugo voters enjoy his work, it would never have occurred to most of them to nominate an urban fantasy like his.

I really hope voters remember that neither Anne Leckie’s Ancillary Sword, nor Katherine Addison’s The Goblin Emperor were on the Sad Puppies slate. These two books were nominated on their own merits, even when they had a whole slate of puppy-nominations against them. I’d love to see either of these books win. Better yet, I’d love to see them as equal winners.

Best dramatic presentation, long form

So many good movies came out last year. Every one of them deserves to be on the list. Edge of Tomorrow is the most underrated of the five movies there, but I thought it was great.

Best editor, long form

Our editor is Anne Sowards, from Ace Roc books at Penguin Random House. We were delighted when we heard she’d been nominated for a Hugo. Then the Puppygate wildfire really took off and what should have been something to enjoy turned into something nasty (my words, for we haven’t spoken to Anne about this), for Anne was one of the people on both the Sad Puppies and Rabid Puppies slates.

I’m sorry about the way it happened, but I believe Anne deserves to be there. (I think Sheila Gilbert does too.) I’d like to see Anne win, but I think that whoever wins this year will feel the award is tarnished.

I hope she’s there next year too, under better circumstances.

That Game of Thrones episode

Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

You’d have to be visiting a very different world wide web to me if you haven’t heard about the Game of Thrones episode Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken.

In this episode, Sansa Stark is raped, and it started a whole storm of protest about rape as a plot device.

The weird thing is, Game of Thrones is all about rape and the disempowerment of women. Chuck Wendig describes it as almost the “Where’s Waldo**” of Game of Thrones (We are not things). As in, where’s the rape in this episode?

It’s one of the reasons the book never appealed.

First, a recap on what happened.

The producers wanted to give Sansa Stark a larger role than she has in the book. Plus they wanted to streamline the plot and reduce the number of characters. So they merged Sansa Stark’s storyline with that of Jeyne Poole. I think (because I haven’t read the books) that Jeyne Poole always was raped at this particular time, by the man who now rapes Sansa.

This isn’t the first rape scene in Game of Thrones. It’s unlikely to be the last. But this one hit a nerve.

Before we dive into why we felt this was a choice which would cause us to stop promoting the show, allow us to say something very important: rape is not a necessary plot device. Really think about that before shouting “creative freedom” in our direction, please.

The show has creators. They make the choices. They chose to use rape as a plot device. Again.

Mary Sue – We will no longer be promoting Game of Thrones

It’s different when it happens to someone you know

Yes, it’s a story, but viewers knew Sansa Stark. They’d spent seasons with her, watching her grow in strength, only to be pushed down to that horrible place she started.

Sure, there were other factors involved. This is the first series where the producers are in front of the book, so viewers didn’t know what to expect.

There’s a bit of series fatigue. Something that might turn your stomach in the earlier episodes, but that you will still watch because it’s a great show and there’s nothing else like it on television, is less tolerable in later episodes. Particularly if you barely held on because of the ick factor in earlier scenes.

It’s repetitive. Same old, same old. Where’s the rape scene in this episode? Enough is enough.

Most of all, it’s different when it’s someone you know. It’s a lot more shocking. It’s a lot more real.

Desensitisation

I read a sickening report in the paper this morning about some children who invited a younger boy to play with them, and who then stoned, strangled and stabbed the boy to death. This happened in a place where thousands of people have been killed in turf wars between the drug cartels. According to the prosecutor,  the children have been desensitised by the violence around them, with the children reflecting what they experience every day.

Television violence desensitises too. If the outcome of what happened to Sansa Stark in Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken leads to less producers choosing ‘rape as a plot device’, it can only be a good thing.

 


 

* I’m only linking to the first one. He wrote a lot of words about it. They’re well worth reading.
** “Where’s Wally?” in Australia.

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Talking to a linesman

Lots of fun at our house last night. Power surges, lights flickering, and blue sparks coming from seemingly everywhere.

One set of lights went out, but the rest of the power stayed on. A fuse, we thought. Then everything flickered again. And again. Another set of lights went out. But some lights were still on, as was the power. Things were starting to look bad.

Another surge. You could hear the hiss of the electricity. This time the power on the computers went out, and we could see blue sparks coming from everywhere. And we mean literally everywhere. Under the house, even from the garage, which is timber, and half of which has been converted to guest quarters. Not only that, our mother is visiting.

We run outside where Mum has just got to sleep, and drag her inside to sleep in the front room.

We’ve just got her settled in bed when two fire engines turn up and block off the street. Red and blue flashing lights, shining right into the room where she’s sleeping, and there’s no way she can block them out.

That lasts for two hours while the firemen work out what the problem is, and work with the electricity company to make the area safe. The firemen leave, and we’re left with the flashing orange light of the electricity company van as they fix the power lines.

At 2:00am in the morning all the lights come back on, and there’s someone with a torch at the front door.

I stagger out of bed to see what he wants.

He’s at the meter box, which is just outside the door. “Nothing,” he says. “I’m just turning your electricity back on, and checking to be sure everything is working.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” I go back to bed, turning off the lights as I go.

Just before I drift off to sleep I realise. I’ve just been talking to a man whose job title is ‘linesman’.

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Clothes for writing in

The first time we attempted NaNoWriMo both Sherylyn and I went out and bought ‘writing pants’. Sherylyn bought a pair of soft, cotton jersey trousers with an elasticised waist. They were grey, with a pink pattern, and they’ll double as spare pyjama pants any time. Me, I was more practical (I thought). I bought a pair of light, three-quarter length cotton trousers.

They were cheap, and the idea was to wear them over November while we did our writing sprints.

Mine lasted about three days. They had a zip and a button at the front and were not at all comfortable for sitting in for long periods. As for Sherylyn’s, she still puts them on occasionally when she’s writing because they are so, so comfortable.

We call them her Jorry pants, because that year she wrote Hero’s Apprentice, and the point-of-view character was a boy called Jorry.

Today, I got my own pair of Jorry pants.

These pants are not flattering. But Jorry pants aren’t meant to be. The trousers come just above the ankles. They’re patterned and they have an elasticised waist. When I put them on it’s like looking in one of those fun-fair mirrors that squash you up and make you look fatter than you are, and I’m not exactly svelte in the first place.

But, oh, so comfortable.

I’m ready to write.

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You had a beautiful voice

It was late. You sat down half a carriage from us. It felt like we were the only three people on the train at that hour.

You started to talk. Low at first, a soft sea of sound, rising and falling like waves on the beach.

You got louder. You had a beautiful voice. Smooth, rich, mellifluous. Chocolate and honey were words made just to describe the sound. Magic. If you were in our book you would be line eight, rich and warm and pleasing to the ear, mixed in with a little sonorous line nine.

We sat, enthralled. We wanted to tell you how beautiful you sounded.

Your words got louder. A one-man monologue, just for us.

Louder. And louder, until we started to hear the words.

The filth that was coming out of your mouth was mind numbing. A constant string of invectives and threats.

You got louder. By the time we got off the train you were shouting.

You scared us. We made sure to exit via the furthest door.

You had a beautiful voice.

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We put up with repulsive characters in movies, so why not in books?

A movie I like a lot is As Good As It Gets. It stars Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt and Greg Kinnear. Nicholson plays Melvin Udall, a sexist, racist, homophobic, obsessive-compulsive romance writer who is redeemed by Kinnear’s dog and by the waitress he falls in love with (Hunt).

Make no mistake, Nicholson’s character is truly repulsive. You spend half the movie squirming at some of the horrible things he says and does, and he never truly becomes a nice person. But he does become a better person.

It’s a movie I appreciate on an aesthetic level. The acting is superb, the storyline works for me and the characters all grow and change. I’ll watch it when they re-run it on tv.

And yet, if it was a book I would have thrown it down after one chapter—or maybe even one page—and refused to read it.

Because I didn’t like the main character.

A movie has to be truly bad to walk out of. We tend to give it a different value to a book. We’ve paid our money, we’re staying for the show whether we like it or not.

Some people read books to the end, no matter how bad they are. Most of us exercise our choice and drop a book as soon as we decide we don’t like it. A repulsive main character is a definite turn-off.

Why is it that we’re so ready to drop a book but will stick with a movie? Is it because we’ve paid money to see the movie? We pay as much or more for the book. Is it because movie watching is often a shared affair? Or is it simply that we hold higher standards for books than we do for movies?

What makes a character repulsive anyway? Sand dan Glokta does terrible things to people, yet everyone loves Glokta.

I wonder, if As Good As It Gets had been a book, would I have found something to like about Melvin Udall?

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Library reserve system helps me keep up with new authors

Once upon a time our library used to charge for reserving books. I can’t remember how much it cost. Around a dollar, I think. I can’t even remember when the library stopped charging. It’s a long time ago now.

What I do know is that the ability to reserve books at no cost has changed my reading habits and introduced me to a lot of authors I might otherwise have missed.

Before they changed the system I’d go to the library and pick out the books I wanted to read. I’d browse along the shelves and find books by authors I knew. I also picked up a few lucky-dip books where the cover or first page looked interesting.

Occasionally I’d search for a specific book. One that a friend had recommended, or that I was particularly looking forward to.

The books I missed, however, were the new releases that I had read about when newly published but had forgotten about by the time the book arrived in the library as it was usually months afterwards, and the books where I read a review that made me think, “Oh, I might like that,” but which didn’t have the personal recommendation.

I’m on the computer all the time. It doesn’t take much to log on to our local library. If I’m reading about a book I think I’ll like, I can go into the reservation system and order it. If it’s not in their catalogue and I really want to read it I can even recommend that the library purchase it.

Then, months after I’ve ordered it, an email arrives telling me that a book I had totally forgotten about is ready to collect.

I still browse at the library, but the no-charge reservations system has allowed me to read books that in the past I would have missed. In particular I read more new authors, and I have gained lots of new favourites out of it.